y of Beast Wars II story in Comics Bon-Bon: October 1998

     This story's a lighter tale of farce and romance with a lot of pages
where nothing really seems to happen except the dialogue (and fighting).
Fortunately, roman characters were used for part of the final punchline, so I
was able to figure it out.  As always, and corrections I get will be added in
brackets, but I'll only repost a corrected version to the newsgroups if I was
way off.
     Late Note: scenes which I have scanned in are marked with an asterisk.

My Title: "Cybertron de Bergerac"

page 394 (yeah, it's getting pushed back each month): Bighorn sits in a field
     of flowers on a cliff overlooking the sea.  He's either gotten over his
     problem with red flowers by this point (episode 3 of the anime) or the
     flowers aren't red.  He's in beast mode, talking to himself about love
     and that sort of thing.  Finishing his bouquet, he stands and presents
     it to the heavens, making some romantic proclamation or other.(*)  He's
     drawn in a very "chibi" style, cutesy.  Pull back, there's no one around
     but him.  Sadly, he sits back down and probably comments on how there
     aren't any women around for him to fall in love with, so he's just 
     being a romantic fool.

395: Bighorn continues in this vein for another panel, then hears something
     in the sky above.  Screaming in panic, he gets even MORE chibi as he
     jumps out of the way of the Seacon ship, which is landing on his 
     flowery cliff.

396: Bighorn berates the Seacons for being rude.  He's really getting on a
     roll when someone comes out of the dust cloud raised by the ship's
     landing.  Those lips!  All the blood rushes out of Bighorn's brain.(*)

397: Full page splash of Scylla (Tentakil), with her glamorous lips and eyes
     and generally monstrous appearance otherwise.  Inset is a smaller
     panel which shows how Bighorn's love-befuddled eyes see her, as a total
     babe.(*)

398: Scylla tries to talk to the loopy Bighorn, probably either apologizing
     for almost landing on him, or asking directions, or something 
     innocent.  Every other panel we see how this looks to Bighorn.  Some of
     the dialogue is altered in his mind, but the last bit is the same in
     both, possibly, "Hey, are you okay?"  Bighorn bolts, feeling inadequate
     to the task of wooing this "lovely lass."

399: Scuba is, as usual, relaxing with a book at the Cybertron HQ.  Bighorn
     charges up and demands his brainy friend's help.  "I'm no good with
     words, and you are!  Ya gotta help me, PLEEEEEEEASE!"  "Well, if the
     woman in question is to be won, tis better for you to be yourself, for
     a false front would never do in the long run."  "Slag that, help me 
     write a love letter!"  All dialogue speculative, but I'm guessing the
     writers are intentionally copying Cyrano de Bergerac here.

400: Bighorn presents his final argument in such a way that Scuba does an 
     out-of-panel flop.  Perhaps he is revealing the identity of his lady
     love.  Scuba pens the letter (in binary dashes with a quill pen, how
     incongruous!), then Bighorn grabs it and blows out so fast that Scuba's
     beach furniture is knocked over.(*)  Scuba starts to pick it up when he
     hears Bighorn trundling back.  "I'm too scared ta give it to her myself,
     could ya be a pal and take it to her for me?"  Scuba does another
     out-of-panel flop.

401: Scuba is riding the cycle from his Takotank, wondering why he ever
     agreed to do this.  He arrives at the beach and looks around, seeing 
     no one.  Meanwhile, Scylla is rising ominously from the water behind
     him.  Boo!

402: Scylla is a bit skeptical about Scuba's reasons for being there, but he
     gives her the letter and she reads it.  Somehow, Scuba muffs his line,
     so he gives the impression that, well, he wrote the letter.  Which he
     did.  But he didn't mean to...oh, never mind.  Scylla is on cloud nine,
     thinking this handsome young squid loves her.  Scuba realizes what he's
     done, and starts to slap himself on the head.(*)  I don't read Japanese,
     but I'd be willing to bet the word "baka" is in there somewhere.  }->

403: Tears of joy streaming from her eyes, Scylla looks at Scuba and sees the
     same sort of delusional image Bighorn had of her, seeing Scuba as a
     dashing prince.(*)  She tries to get Scuba into a liplock (neat trick,
     considering she's the only one of the two with lips) and he offers up
     some excuse and bolts.  Scylla is smitten.

404: "YOU WHAT?"  Bighorn is not happy with this turn of events and runs out
     of the HQ.  Scuba shrugs and goes back to his reading.  Meanwhile at the
     Seacon ship, Scylla is sighing, singing tra la la and generally acting
     sappily in love while her crewmates look on in slightly nauseated 
     disbelief.  Coelagon (Skalor) wonders what's up.

     [Late note: According to Drew, Bighorn's line is probably "It worked?!"
     which would indicate that Scuba's not being straight with his pal.]

405: Halfshell (Overbite) gives some sort of summary of the background of 
     this motley crew for the benefit of new readers, how they sail the 
     spaceways in search of treasure and other piratey things.  He then
     tells Scylla that he'll help the lovebirds get together...after all,
     they're pirates, not Destrons.  Scuba isn't necessarily the enemy.
     Overjoyed, Scylla dances and sings off into the background, while
     Halfshell plots darkly...this would be the perfect chance to kill a
     whole lot of meddling Cybertrons!  They'll have a pageant!  No, I'm
     not crazy, this plot is.  Who wrote this stuff?  Okay, maybe killing
     Cybertrons isn't Halfshell's goal, but he does seem to be plotting.

406: Kid is freaking out, because the event the Seacons are throwing is a
     formalwear thing and his tux isn't ready.  Or maybe he's freaking out
     because he read the script.  He's wearing a tux by the end of the page,
     and is still in beast mode.  This is very silly.  Meanwhile, Apache
     cries tears of joy...to be back on the social scene at last!  Maybe.
     This is all very silly.  Meanwhile, Dirge and Thrust have found the
     stage and are reporting back to Megastorm, who is having trouble
     believing his eyes.  It's just too silly.  But Galvatron comes in and
     senses a perfect opportunity to kill a lot of Cybertrons!

407: Coelagon emcees the event, while the Cybertrons and Seacons sit in the
     stands, wearing tuxedos.  Kid and all of the Seacons are in beast mode.
     On the stage, Scylla is performing some classic Japanese theater,
     elegantly dressed in a kimono and so forth.  Bighorn and a regular
     bull are in a lion-headed boat suspended from the rafters, and Bighorn
     seems to have his hair pulled back into a topknot.  Lioconvoy is not
     present, he's probably recuperating.  Oh, wait, Bighorn just has a 
     topknot wig on.(*, whole page)

408: Bighorn isn't saying his lines.  Scylla cues him again.  Then she
     notices that Bighorn doesn't seem to be blinking.  It's a dummy!  The
     real Bighorn is down on the stage, and zips in to play leading man and 
     get a kiss from the leading lady.

409: ZAP!  Scylla blows the topknot (and costume, and a year's growth) off
     Bighorn, then ditches her costume and angrily demands to know where her
     real leading man is.  Apparently Scuba was tapped for the part but
     Bighorn took his place.  Aha!  There he is, in the audience!  Scylla
     reaches out with her extendable tentacles and embraces Scuba rather
     tightly.

410-411: (Action spread across two pages) Scylla is ALL OVER Scuba now, her
     eyes wide with adoration (ever seen a squid try to look like C-ko?).
     Bighorn sees this and does a slow burn.  This quickly turns into a full
     burn, as Bighorn rushes up to Scuba and gets in his face.  "SO, ya
     wanted her all along, eh?"  Halfshell holds up a claw to stop the 
     impending fight.  He proposes that the two Cybertrons fight for the 
     hand of the "fair maiden."

412: Fine with Bighorn.  "Wait, no!" Scuba protests just before being piled
     into.

413: Scuba is plowed into a wall in one of the most extreme cases of visual
     foreshortening I've ever seen.  Kid and Diver comment on the bad
     situation.  Bighorn demands that Scuba get up and fight.  Scuba stands,
     the Sun shining over his shoulder, clouds streaming through the sky,
     all very dramatic.  "You want a fight?  You GOT ONE!"

414: Bighorn charges and Scuba throws his boomerang.  Bighorn laughs as it
     impacts him without hurting.  Then it explodes into a cloud of ink,
     blinding (and embarrassing) Bighorn.  Scuba follows this up with a
     volley of missiles from his chest.  Each missile has a dippy cartoon
     squid painted on it.

415: "Didn't hurt.  Still can't see, though.  Just a sec."  Bighorn goes into
     the water and cleans off his face and eyes.  Suddenly, he's all alone
     out there.  Scuba pops up behind him ominously.

416-417: For several panels, Scuba whirls about in the water, dancing in and
     out and striking Bighorn repeatedly while avoiding retaliation.  A
     regular ballet of death.

418: BOOM!  Scuba finishes his pattern and with a leap detonates the energy
     field he put around Bighorn, looking very graceful.

419: Bighorn is singed, but not out.  Scuba points out he can keep this up
     all day so long as he's in his element, so why not call off the fight?
     Bighorn chuckles and bends over to put his horns in the water.

420: ZAP!  Bighorn channels his lightning bolts through the water and into
     Scuba, who ends up pretty badly off.

421: Bighorn charges, horns extended and deadly.  Scuba is just standing
     there to take it.  Kid and Diver call out to Bighorn, telling him that
     she's not worth killing a friend over, no matter how much he loves
     her.  Scylla suddenly realizes why Bighorn's doing all this.

422: Scylla interposes herself between Bighorn and Scuba, stopping the
     attack.  She then proceeds to give Bighorn a major tonguelashing, which
     includes the point that she doesn't date outside her species, so he
     might as well give up now.

     [Actually, she's just calling him a big stupid bull and saying she
     doesn't like him at all.]

423: The light literally goes out of Bighorn's eyes.  He sinks to his knees,
     totally devastated.  Halfshell starts to try sorting things out so that
     no one tries to kill themselves or each other.  Then the Destrons horn
     in on things.

424-425: (Across both pages) The Destrons are here, firing on everyone and
     catching them by surprise.  The Cybertrons are scattered and Kid is
     comically scorched in his tux (which is probably rented, knowing his
     luck).  Scuba is so out of the way of incoming fire that it ain't funny.
     The Seacons, still in tuxedos for the most part, leap to form God
     Neptune, who is not wearing a tuxedo.

426: Megastorm and the others blow God Neptune's leg off...the leg which
     happens to be Scylla.  Bighorn leaps into action.

427: As God Neptune topples, Bighorn interposes himself between Scylla (who
     is in robot mode for her only panel this issue) and the Destrons.  She
     may not love him (yet), but he still loves her, and he'll stand by her.
     Scuba bows, respecting Bighorn's devotion.

428-429: (Across both pages) Bighorn rears back to fire his Buffalo Missile
     on overload, while behind him the two squids do some funky attack things
     in support.  A withering barrage heads in on Megastorm, blasting him
     pretty thoroughly.

430: Run away!  Megastorm turns tail and runs after one barrage, which seems
     to be a character flaw of his (see second anime episode).  The rest of 
     the page has Scylla, Scuba and Bighorn trying to thrash things out, but
     it looks like a happy ending isn't in the cards for either of the
     unrequited lovers.

431: Scylla turns and leaves, with the comment to Bighorn of something like,
     "Too bad you're not a squid, you're a really nice guy otherwise."
     Later....  Bighorn has a cellophane-wrapped dried squid snack on a 
     table in the science lab of the Cybertron ship, and he's gonna get a
     DNA scan from it if it's the last thing he does!(*)  Kid tries 
     to explain to him that it doesn't work that way, or he wouldn't still
     be stuck with his goofy beast mode.  Diver just has a headache.  I
     wish I could convey it properly here...I laughed out loud in a 
     restaurant when I finally figured out what Bighorn was doing with the
     squid snack.

     Dave Van Domelen, this is all just too silly....